Image provided by: Morrow County Museum; Heppner, OR
About Heppner gazette. (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912 | View Entire Issue (April 18, 1893)
CIRCULATION MAKES Some Iooiile Buy advertising space because rut 's are low generally the circulation in a tight loirer. Circulation determine the value of advertising ; there is no other standard. The Qaxette is willing to abide by it. OFFICIAL Th Paper. Without it advertisers get nothing for their money. The Gazette, with one exception, has the largest circula tion of any paper in Eastern Oregon. Therefore it ranks hiqh as an advertising medium. HEPPNER, MORROW COUNTY, OREGON, TUESDAY, APRIL 18. 1893. WEEKLY NO. Sal.) 8F.MI-W KKKLY NO. UD.) YEAR PAPER. SEMI WEEKLY GAZETTE. Tuesdays and Fridays BY T11E PATTERSON PUBLISHING COMPANY. ALVAH W. PATTERSON Bus. Manager. 0TI8 PATTISRSON Editor Al ii 53 per year, $1.25 for bie months, 75 cts. (or three montHS. Aduertising Rates Made Known on Application. County, Oregon, in published by the Bame com ply every Friday morning. Subscription Krire j'neryear. For advertising rates, address 'EA-a-XiE," of Long Creek, Grant bSjii li PATTEBSOIT, Editor and - t mint at to " Manager, Long ureei, ureou, v. Heppuer, Oregon. . . . ill- T? n Dalra'B racte for advertising can be made for it. VALUABLE PRESENT, A Year's Subscription to a Pop ular Agricultural Paper GIVEN FREE TO OUR READERS THE GAZETTES AGSNTS. Vainer sj-lington,.., Long Creek,. K.c'hn Camas Prairie,. B. A. Hunsakor .Phill Heppner The Eagle Bob rihaw . Oscar De Vaul Allen McFerrin Mattesou, '.'.'.'.'....II. 0. Wright tV , '".. J. A. Woolery Hardman, Or.,. . u,..iir. .Matties. Rudio ... T. J. can "...R. R. McHaley ...8. L. l'ari'isli G. P. Skeltou . . .J. E. Snow ..'.'.'.. T. I. McCulluin John Ediugton .Wm. G. MeUroskey " Mount Vernon, Grant Co., Or....... - Foexrantco:;6r.,::::v.'v Eight Mile, ur.,. ..... - tinner Rhea Creek B. . ae la iu '"."it. M. Johnson ..W. P. bnyder . Herbert HalBtead rvL.ul.n n.n. AN AGENT WANTED IS EVERY PRECINCT. Bv a sDecial arrangement with the publishers we are prepared to furnish FEEE to each of our readers a year's subscription to the popular monthly agricultural journal, the Amebicak Farmeb, published at Springfield and Cleveland, Ohio. This offer is made to any of our sub scribers who will pay up all arrearages on subscription and one year in advance, and to any new subscribers who will pay one year in advauce. The American Farmer enjoys a large national circula tion, and ranks among the leading agricultural papers. By this arrange ment it COSTS YOU NOTHING to re oeive the American Farmer for one year, It will be to your advantage to oail promptly. Sample oopies can be sen nt our office. RHEUMATISM neuralgia, and sciatica can always be successfully treated with Ayer's Sarsaparilla A cure is sure to follow the persistent use of this medicine. Has Cured Others will cure you. Highest of all in Leavening Power. Latest U. S. Gov't Report. 'lewder Hamilton, Grant Co., Or., lone, Prairie City, Or.,.. Canyon City, Or.,. pilot Rock, Dayville, Or., John Day, Or Athena, ur.. Upper Rhea Creek,. uougias, Lone Rock, Or. . . Gooseberry Condon, Oregon. Umon Pacfic Railway-Local card. daily No. 10, mixed leaves Heppner 100 a. m. i) " ar. at Arlington 115 a.m. o " leaves " S:wi p. m. " ar. at Heppner 1:10 p. ai, except Sunday. East bound, main line ar. at Arlington 8:42 p. m vv.t leaves V- ni tin. r running on Bame time as before, LONE ROCK STAGE. Leaves Heppner 7 a. m. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, reacniug . 1 u"J,,.V, tiJiU 7 a. m. Mondays, ednei days and Fridays, reaching Heppner at op. m. Makes connection with the Lone Kock-rossil ' Agntslyocum-Johnston Drug Co., Heppner, Tl le OrielnEat liter's Unabridged DIGTIOKBHY. OmCI-Ii BIEEOTOET. United Bt'ites Officials. Piesident Grover Cleveland ViHree'ident . Ad ai Stevenson rSwo1sii...V.........Walter l.Ureshatn Beoretsry of Treasury John t, . t iir Secretary of Interior.. : Hoke Sunt h becrewr, of War Daniel S. Lamm, Secretary of Navy. Hi ary A. Herbert l'oUnater-eneral '"Jli H,'nlv Attornet-General Richard H. Olney kiecretaify of Agriculture .J. Sterling Morton t State of Oregon. r,T,-ii. S. Pennoyer Secretary of Stat Treasurer Bupt. Public Instruction. Senators ,i. W. McIInde ..Phil. WetsctiHU ...E. B. McElroy (J. H.Hitcliell (J.N . Duluh ( Bincer Hermann Coiurressmen 1w.lt. Ellis !jt.. Frank O.Baker , v A Supreme Judges., jw la. F. A. Moore W. P. Lord tj. Bean Seventh Judicial District. i-4 ; W. L. BradBhaw i..tinD Attorney W. H. Wils n Morrow County Officials. joint Sesator Hry Black nan Representative l- f N- ',r.',w," OoSntyJudge John" ,"' ' tjommissionerH. T Ht Uol-us Clerk...'. ,i,y-M,?1T Bheritf Nob'f; n, W. J.L' ezer Assessor. .'.'.'!.' It. L. haw laa Brown " School Bup't i" "" Coroner T. W. Ayers, J r HEPPNER TOWN OKFIOKKS, J. It. Simons i;ouilmeil .....O. E. Farnsworth, M Ijfchtenthal, Otis Patterson, Julius Keitlily tit k 1..imatnn T t , Vauuur. o ' . .... A. A. Roberts, 'vr::::::: E,G,siocum Uarshal "". Precinct Officers', vu: i vm F. J. Hallock Citable."".. ' U VY- Kyouard United States Land Officers. THE DALLES, OB. J. W. Lewis Register T. S.Lairn Receiver LA GRANDE, OB. A Cleaver Register A.t:. MoCleUanol Receiver BY SPECIAL AKRANOEMENT WITH THE puulishers, we are able to obtain a number OI tP' aOOVe UOOH, aiiu uiujjum; ,u luiuisu nnnv t.n each of our subscribers. The dictionary is a necessity in every home, Bchool and business house, it tills a vacancy, ami fnrniHheH knowledne which no one hun dred other volumes oi the choicest bookB could supply. Young and old, educated and ignorant. rich and poor, snottiu nave it wimin reacn, am m,i"t to its tioulenis every day in the year. As some have asked if this Is really the Orig inal Webster'B Unabridged Dictionary, we are able to state we have learned direct from the publishers the fact, that this is the very work coiunlete on which about forty of the best years nf th author's life were so well employed in writing. It contains tnc ctiuie voettuuiary oi about luO.UUO words, including tne correct spew ing, derivation anu uciiuiiion oi same, anu is the regular standard size, containing about aou.oou square inches of printed surface, and is UOUIIU Ul Clom nail muioccu anu blcuu. Until turther notice we will furnish thu valuable Dictonary First To any new subscnDer. Second To any renewal subscriber. Third To any subscriber now in arrear ho pays up and one year in advance, at the following ences, viz: Ful Cloth bound, g"t side ana Dae stamps marbled edges. i-oo. Halt Mo'occo, bound, gut siae ana oacK stamps, marbled edges, 4)1.50. Full bheep bound, leatner laDei, marDiea dges, $2.00 Utty cents aaaea in an cases tor express- age to Heppner. jgr-As the publishers limit the time and umber oi boons mey win itirnisn ai tne low hii w, RdviMf all who desire to avail them selves of tills great opportunity to attend to It at once. SICEIT SOCIETIES. nnt Kn 9t K. nf P. meets ev. ery Tnesday evening at 7.0 o'olock in tKalr I'Ratla HrIL National Bank build ing. Sojoarning brothers eordialiv in vited to attend. W. L. Haling, C. (!. W. B Potteb, K. of K. 4 B. tr KAWLINB POST, NO. 31. 0. A. B. Meets at Lexington, Or., the last Saturday of each month. All veterans are invited to Join. i' u., Geo. W. Smith. ' ' Aritntant. tf Commander. rsoTEsaioiTAii. A. EOBEKTo, iteai instate, insnr SUM and Collections. Offloe in r.liambers. Heopner.Or. swtf. A. BnEEK .aillil'IIISEBSBESSElE Si Caveats, Trade-marks, Design Patents, Copjrightu And all Patent tmsiness conducted for MODERATE FEES. Information and advice g?vin to Inventors wltbo charge. Ad dress PRESS CLAIMS CO., JCKN WE DOER BURN, MaoiUfiiig Attorneyi P. O. v,n 23- Washington, D.Q "T:i Cr-pinri'iy mnTniRefl by a combination of li.'jnt : 1-1 itiont liilluenttal newspapera lu th i '''r ti fo' tin1 exiircfs pttrpoBe of protet - viz Ir atii-i'l"frft against unscrupuloul ii o;Mp -ft i.t l'; fnr AccntR, and earli paper t ii fi'jvr ti; nr vou-'.lH'sforthe responal ,y n l l.i,!:t .:;:.;; i 01 iIa; l'reBaClalniiCoiupanf. ABSOPJTEI PURE THE EDITOR'S WORK. A VETERAN JOURNALIST ADVISES HIS BROTHER EDITORS. Mart EGG SEASON, 1893. Twenty-six Imported Fowls Es pecially for the Egg; Trade, 300 BuEING BUS. 8 Pens Wyandottee, 6 Pens Plymouth Books, 5 Pens Light Brabmas, 3 Pens Brown Leghorns, 2 Pens Wbite Leghorns. The Above Varieties Consulate The Very Cream of All Poultry. EGGS. 1 SITTING, $3.00; 2 SITTINGS $5.00. I GUARANTEE A GOOD HATCH. Address of Colonel P. Donan Before tho Ores-en Press Association at the Meeting at The Dulles. Mb. Prbsidknt and Gkntlemen of the Oregon Press association ; Ladies and Gentlemen: The edUor is the soul of the sublunary universe. Suspend all the papers, stop all the printing presses for a single month and earth would be a vast gigan tic bedlam. Science, art, business liter ature and law would come to a dead standstill. Everything would be awry. Cirouit, county and probate courts, judgments, executions, sentences, sher iffs' sales, railroad time tables, elections, trades, traffic, births, deaths, marriages and divorces would get into mich a tangle that it would take a legion of senatorial railroad lawyers a Methuse lah's lifetime to unravel the brain twist ing muddle. Nobody would know any thing. Everybody would know nothing thoroughly and extensively. The whole human and hu-woman race would be profoundly accomplished ignoram usesadmirably fitted for average con ressmen and dog law legislators. Mer cantile establishments would be removed none could tell when or whither. Farms would be sold by mortgagees or trustees, and the hapless possessor would never get an Inkling of It till the purohaser and title deeds appeared. The seeker for religion's consolations would stumble into the little church around the corner, to find that it had weeks ago been con verted into an original package juicery. Merchants would be nabbed by United Btates marshals and stamp stickers for violating revenue and license regulations of whloh they hud never heard or dreamt. Steamship departures, home and foreign wars, legislative riots and deadlocks; prices of wheat, whisky and other necessaries pf.V'Jfc time of sals, meetings and removal! tax lists, public A few Choice Cockerels tot sale at $3 00 eaoh and trios at $10.00. Send for Large Catalogue. SILVER'S CHAMPION HETHEESE2 Box 55. Address J. M. GARRISON, com.396. Forest Grove, Or ocky-.-Moiintain- Small THE DAILY-BY MAIL. Subscription price reduced as follows: One Year (by mail) : : ts 00 Six Months " : . : S 00 Three Months " : : : 1 50 One jVo?ift " : : 50 THE WEEKLY BY MAIL. One Year in Advance) : $1 00 The News 1b the only consistent c.iamplon of silver In the West, and should be in every home n the West, and in the hands of every miner and business man in Colorado. Send in your subscriptions at once. Address, THE Uoiivcr, Colo. Guaranteed to cure Bilious attacks, Sick Headache and Constipation. 40 In each lottle. Price 25c. For sale by druggists. Picture"?, 17, 70" and sample doe free. J. F. SMITH & TO., Proprlstors, MEW YORK. LUMBEll! rV flr,-c.l Lumber. 16 miles of Heppner, at 7E HAVE FOR SALE ALL KINDS OF UN i dressed I what is known SOOTT t the SAWMIIilJ PER 1,000 FEET, ROUGH, CLEAR, ,10 00 17 60 IF DELIVERED IN HEPPNER, WILL ADD ti.uu per l.ouo (eet, additional. Where? it ihmhatnaink'E. Iu addition to b tailoring business, be has added a fine line of underwear of all kinds, negligee hirta, hosiery, etc. Also has on baud some elegant patterns iur .ut... . Abrahamsiok. May street. Heppner. Ur. rvfc i. fVUni1 have iust received oar load of Mitohell Wagons, Hacks, etc., and have bIbo a large supply of farm ing imnlementa of all kinds. Jf, N. BROWN, JA3. P. HAMILTON Attorney at Law, Brown & Hamilton Pmrtira in all coort of th atata. Iniorance, ttl eaut collection aad loan atnt. Prompt atteuUOD (iea to all boaiOMt ntmat d to them. Qrncm. Mai Stout, Hbppnm. Omaom. L. HAMILTON. Prop. . HnmlltoniMan'gf SHILOH'S CONSUMPTION CURE. The success of this Orest Cough Cure Is without a parallel in the history of medicine. All druggists are authorized to sell iton a pos itive guarantee, ft test that no other cure can successfully stand. That it may become known, the Proprietors, at an enormous ex pense, are placing a Sample Bottle Free Into every home in the United States and Canada. If vou have a Cough, Wore Throat, or Bron chitis, use it, for it will cure you. If your child has the Croup, or Whooping Cough , use It promptly, and relief Is suro. if you dread that insidious disease Consumption, use It. Ask your Druggist for BHILOH'H CURB, Pricel0cts..50cts. andtl.00. If your Lungs are sore or Back lame, use Shtloh's Porous Plaster. Price V cts. For sale by U Drug gists and Dealers. CURED GF SICK HEADACHE. W. D. F.lward, Palmyra, O., wrltMi I have been a great nafTcrer from CofttlvenenM and hlrk lisadachet and bav tried naauy medicines, ui Kf"?V '-r'4 fj rsJS ; k- ''J is i ' GRASS and GARDE SEEDS Germicating Power. PUREST STRAWS SEND FOR CATALOGUE. rKS'GE0,Starr8tt,WALwuASwALU find tbai one pill net hetter Iota three o( an; other kind, and does) not Menken or crine." tl'l"UT "sl coated. Uoeo email. Price, 33 eaata. SOI.L EVEUrWHKRE. OfOce, 110 to Hi Wasuingtoa bU, X, Y, Plao'i TVme'lr tor Catarrh la tba Beit, Tjuiat to rc. arid C'Ywapt!. AoM bf DrorirliU or tent by maU. Kjo K. T. HwlUoa, Warns ra. aasembiiea, prise fights and other ebulll tKt of down-easty cuUure, editorial jaunts and receptions all, all would be an endless, hopeless, inextricable jungle. There would be no advertising except in wretched scrawls pinned up on post offlce and courthouse doors, back fences, blacksmith shops and crossroads gin mills. Young ladies would not know where to get the newest and daintiest devices In ribbons, laces, feathers and flummeries, carmine saucers, masouline-eye-distracting hosiery ,gllt-edged prayer boobs for Lent, and " loves of bonnets for Easter, " Dandified young bucks of the wouldbe dude variety would be lost in blundering attempts to find bobtail ooata,lmpossible-to-sit-down-in breeches, ear-sawing flop over collars and speckled pony neckties to their notion. Every body would fleece everybody else, and corruption and crime would reign. Civilization oulminates in the power press. It is the grand total of the differ ence between a boastful United Statian and a beastly Hottentot; between Yan- keedoodle and Tiinbuctoodle. Who or what builds all our railroads, makes the first suggestion, points out the advantages, pushes a charter through congress or legislature, works up the in terest, secures the subscriptions and sends forth its bugle-blast of welcome to the first train over the line? The newspaper. Who or what, by heralding abroad the rich resources and incomparable advan tages of soil, climate and varied produc tion, the agricultural, pastoral, mineral and timberal wealth of this, that or the other great region, draws- in immigra tion and capital, opens up all our farms and mines, builds mills, factories, schools and churches, raises cities from nothingness and causes our mighty wildernesses to rejoice and blossom like a senatorial nose 1 The newspaper. Who or what makes all our states men, our congressmen, governors and presidents (and sometimes, God knows, out of woefully small ana poor mate rial), publishes the first call on some in significant jackleg or shabby trickster to run for constable or legislator, dog- felter or congressman, writes up bis waddling, stuttering speeches into thunder-bursts of eloquence, calls meet ings to hear nim, gets up receptions and serenades, bogus interviews and letters f indorsement, and finally makes a royal elephant of statecraft out ef a pismire of stupidity and despicablenesa? , The newspaper. Who or what gives reputation to men and women, to cities, states and nations? The newspaper. Who or what brings trade to the mer chant, patients to the doctor and vic tims to the lawyerr I he newspuper. The foundation of every enterprise, material, moral, financial and political is laid in and by the newspaper. It is the great necessity of the age as much an essential of every civilized breakfast table as ita muffins and poached eggs, it napkins, hash and Mocha. It is the world's guide and banner bearer, en Hghtener, counselor and grandwst evan gel of advancement. And ahl what a toiler, what a ceaseless, tireless worker in every field of thought, investiga tion, enterprise and action must the worthy conductor of this mighty en rinrv. the wielder of these wondrous powers and influences the editor be! No laborer with pick and spade on all earth's highways and byways must delve so diligently, so endlessly as he. He too often leads a galley slave's existence a dog s life and a very poor article of dog at that. His work, like woman's, is never done. He has to write politics of the dirtiest kind and it is all dirty elections, re ligion, history, statistics often false as a Porter census report business, rail roads, finance, steamboats, improve ments, and dis-imnrovements, which seem nowadays largely in the majority He has to write distinguished arrivals, stray mule notices, crops, weather, mar kets, crimes and rascalities wherein is embraced much of the political history of the day. He has to write perjonal notioes, often of numbskulls and no bodies: births, deaths, weddings and other calamities; removals, sales in eluding senatorial ones, in whioh the senatorship is first sold and then the people trades, exchanges and failures pre-eminently conspicuous among which come most of the statesmen and statesmanship of thest) latter days. He has to write puffs of new books and new music, puffs of new exchanges and new advertisers, puffs of muddle-headed speakers and nimble-footed dancers; puffs of re-opened theatres, barrooms and churches; puffs of sermons, ballads. bishops and ballets, and puffs of people that puff him. He has to write descrip tions of balls, picnics, concerts, revivals and smashups; extravaganzas on recep tions, rallies, reunions and mass meet ings; denunciations of infamous Indian policies, dissertations on fashions, essayi on morality, and criticisms on the follies of the day, and subscribers who do not pay Daily and hourly he must run the whole gauntlet of emotions and tear the last feeling of sentiment to tatters. He must be glad to hear this and pained to hear that, delighted to meet one, and distressed to hear of an accident to an other; shocked at this, enraptured with that; commiserating here, congratulat ing there; mourning today, rejoioing to morrow; now grinding out an obituary full of orocodile tears and doleful dog gerel, and now jingling a merry wed ding strain. He must be ever ready-to entertain his elderly female constituents with information in regard to the prices of butter and eggs; cures for measles, croup and chicken cholera; the trium phant progress of the prohibition cause often with a olove in his mouth; the condition of the heathen away from home, and the prospects of charity fairs and church festivals, He must always be prepared to dash off, at a moments warning, in any tune or key, from con- ! gressional riotry and the latest importa tion of swine and jackasses, to supreme court decision, or ruins of Egypt, Rome and the nearest rival town, labor strikes led always by chin-workers presiden tial microscopies, gubernatorial tickets and size of cabbage heads and pumpkins. And worse than all, he must, at the bid ding of any and every mob of inebriated and unclean partisans, known as a con' rention, unceasingly blow and puff po litical toad-frogs and lesser vermin into majestic lions of statecraft, and trans form stupid and thievish nonentities Into colossal giants of wisdom, learning, eloquence and virtue. Then, after all his weary, endless toil ing, he must endure, with the patience of a dogfennel-orowned martvr, the im pertinent suggestions and criticisms of every wiseacre in tne universe, wno knows jiiHt how a newspaper should be run; and must bear the jeers and strict ures, grumblings, growls, and miscellan eous and assorted mulligrubs of a world of moral hypochondriacs, cranks and chronic fault finders. If he is witty and jocular, they pronounce him a frivolous rehasher of stale Almanac jokes; and if he is grave, logical and dignified, they declare him stupid and tiresome. If he boldly denounces rascality and wrong wherever he finds them, they say he is impolitio and injures the party; and if he does not, they Bay he is timid and I bought up. If he publishes the trrimes and outrages, frauds, swindles, legisla tive and congressional proceedings and multiplex iniquities that constitute fully at the county s expense. Work as he will, do or do not as he may, the whole yelping pack is at his heels with a chorus of complaint, rebuke and vitu peration. Predestined stepchild of hard luck, he is "damned if he doee, and damned if he doesn't. " Alas! alasl if there glows no holy pa triotic fire upon his altar of daily sacri fice, if he be not illumined and consecra ted with pure and heroic ambition to advance the welfare of his country and his people; if over all his work exalted love of liberty and right and ardent de sire to serve his age cast not their sacred halo, his labor is but ill paid slavery and his life a weary failure. And yet these plodding crowbaits on the treadmill wheel of life: these un paid and unthanked drudges of the printing office; these too often threadbare-coated and seedy editors of Cristen dom, wield a scepter more potent than the use of its "Brains, muscle, type" and kill without a thought of recompense. In the language of Holy Writ, "the. laborer is worthy of his hire. " Editor, as a class, are laborers, and there la no more reason why their labor should be given to public enterprises and political parties, free of charge, than that of merchants, mechanics, lawyers, doctors or grave diggers. Politics and the pub lic have no peculiar claims on them, de manding a sacrifice of their private rights and interests. Their first duty, like that of other working Christians, is to themselves and their families; and that duty can never be discharged by making deadhead pack mules of them selves for everybody's schemes and profit but tneir own. "Business is business" should be the rule and maxim of editors as well as other men. 2d We must stop the sibuse of each other; we must dnm liameful tor- kings or coroneted nobles, for news-1 rents of billingsgate wlk-Ii have so long papers rule the world to-day. And the flowed through our columns upon our only reason it is not tar better ruled is brother toilers. Why cannot editors be that not one newspaper man in a thous- 1 gentlemen toward each other? Their and appreciates the awful, the tremen-1 private characters and peculiarities are dous responsibility that rests upon him. I no more legitimate subjects of discus The preacher or the popular orator now lion than those of other professional and then addresses a few hundred men. If their papers nre newsy, bright hearers. His voice can reach but few, His eloqrwnee dies away within the walls of some small, crowded hall. Not so with the tditor. Day after day and week after week he sends his views, his fuehngs, his sentiments on all the multi farious questions of public and private life into ten thousand homes. The tele graph and steam press duplicate his every utterance a myriad-fold. He talks to the fathers, the mothers, the children. He impresses his thoughts and opinions, his foibles and peculiarities upon their minds. He sits and confabulates wltu them at their tables. He draws up his chair and chats with them around the winter hearth. Humble and obscure though he may be, by the republications of his contemporaries, he makes one in million fireside groups m palace ana hovel. You have men among you who, in this way, have lounged in the boudoirs of empresses and queens and talked tace to face with earth's mightiest potentates. Oh, the power the magical, wonderful power for good or evil of even the coun triest of country editors! And oh, that every editor on our continent, in city or country, might feel the vastness and sacredness of the trust committed to him! If all the great brotherhood wore true and incorruptible patriots; men of in flexible integrity; above a mean or base act; beyond the reach of bribes, threats, wheedlings or intimidations; holding themselves aloof from all rascalities and the very appearance of dishonesty; championing no disreputable man or measure, and scorning the narrow big otries and prejudices of party; and if all their papers should open, at once,' a bold and vigorous war for truth, justice and right, regardless of every personal or partisan interest, aim or ambition, America would ere long be a sublunary paradise. Wrong, oppression, thievery, plundering of the people and all the glozed-over villainies that now curse and disgrace us would be scourged back to the foul pit that gave them birth; and freedom, decency, peace and prosperity would hold a jubilee from Maine to Mexico. Ottr mourning would be turned into joy, and the ashes of Borrow into the sweet oil of gladness. Our nights would be filled with the ravishing music of seraphic hurdy-gurdies and cracked accordeons; the cares that infest our days would pack their duds like fuga cious bank cashiers, and as silently steal away; and, on the highest pinnacle of the temple of progress, like an exultant Shanghai rooster carved in brass, would stand a colossal Editor, as the concen trated embodiment of all that is truest, and noblest, ana most potential for good in humanity's ideals, But, brethren of the press, Derore theBe halcyon days shall dawn, there are many obstaoles in part at least or our own creation to be removed, many evils in our brotherhood to lie wiped out, many faults and follies to tie aban doned, and many wrongs to be corrected, Some of these hindrances to our ad vancement; some of these causes of our professional lack of the fortune and standing and influence to which we are entitled; some of these reasons for our being too often regarded with a sort of diluted disdain (even by the political punnets we ourselves have made), de mand extirpation. They have been tol erated far too long, and we can never rise to the full dignity and capabilities of our profession until we rid ourselves of them. 1st We must put our business on business footing. Poverty invites op pression and contumely; and we shall as and enterprising, and always on the side of the people and the right, it matters not who conducts them, and bnt little what the conduct of their conductors may be. Onrs is the only decent profes sion that indulges in these indecencies. What would be thought of a preaoher who should denounce his ministerial brother across the way as a lop-eared hellhound of Zion, and warn astonished salvation seekers to stay away from his vestibule of perdition, miscalled a church? What would lie the opinion of a theater mannger who should stand in his electric-lighted balcony, and while the band played a furious " Rogues March, " harangue the muiltitude in regard to the infamous humbnggeries of the establish ment three blocks below; declaring its tragedy all rant and the enchanting fig ures of its ballet dancers all sawdust and cotton batting? And what would the pill gobbling world say of a doctor who should ride around proclaiming all his brother pillars of society diabolical quacks, in league with undertakers, tombstone makers, death, hell and the grave? Yet all these hideous barbar isms and vulgarisms are part of the daily intercourse of editors with each other of editors even of the great city papers of editors, who, more than any other class of teachers and exemplars, save one, boneath the skies, are the ' light of the earth of editors, in whose almost omnipotent hands, in a great measure, rest the intellectual and moral destinies of the world. No wonder our profession stands no higher than it does when its own member thuB degrade it end fho.nl- , Concluded in our Next. Pa., It Should be ill Every House. B. Wilson, 371 Clay St., Shnrpsburg, says he will not be without Dr. King's New Discovery for consumption, Coughs and CoIiIh, that it cured his wife o waB threatened with 1'iiftimoiiin al ter an attack of "La Grippe," when vnri- U8 other remedies and several pliysi- niis had done her no good. Robert arber, of Conksport, I'a., clniros Dr. ing's New Disooverv has done him more good than anything be ever nsed for lung trouble. Nothing like it. Try Free trial bottles at Hlocnm-ilohnson Drug Co. Large bottles, 50o and 81.00 coffin for his mother to in-law, without offering or expecting pay for their respective wares or services, as into a newspaper omco and demand JORDAN r'OitklNUB. half the news of the day, they decry him claf or profrasicm. lie poor until we as a vulgar and sensational panderer to tttnlP out the antiquated idea that our depraved tastes; and If he does not, they offices are in any sense the property of sneer at him as old fogyish and behind j P"blic or th politicians. All the the age. If he prints an occasional ser- world I"u"t "'"d" to nnrterstand that ,i.,h,i. ,i,n nnritunWl ' newspaper office is a business estab- bigot and blockhead; and, if he produce, liniment, by which editors and printers a stray extract from some glib tongued ! n'uflt n"ke ''' ft'11 ,httt B man hM .,ti, ornoer after litrht. thev howl : the same right to walk into a grocery .. ...;.t v,!.., . a l,luMr,l,r,,r ft , store and order a barrel of sugar or trMnarriomlv imthers all the local ; of coffee, or into a law cilice and .. u.,rl a,ia.in r,f his region, thev scout I demand a legal opinion of its occupant, ki.n u. trashv and trifling, trvinst to in- i"1" Rn undertaker's shop and request terfere with thehighperogativesof "the the pleasure of five o'clook teas and old ladies sewing societies; and if he fails to do so, they flout him as lazy and uninteresting. If he supports a scoundrelly convention nominee, they hound him as a Bharneless corruption if -t; and if he manfully and honently refuses to do it, they kick him out of the party as a traitor and a dis organizes If he lies they raise their hands in holy horror atliisnnreliability; and if he telis the truth, they set biin down as an idiot sadly wanting in dis cretion. lfoh, rarest of improbabili ties ! he mukes money, they insinuate that he has done it by dabbling in jobs, by Belling himself and hi paper to rogues ami ringxters; and if, as i true in too many cases, he Ktays too poor to pay for a red flannel patch on his blue corduroy trousers, except on the great moral principle of "half cawh and half in advertising, " they sneer at him as a shiftless vagabond, destined to be buried As it seems to be quite the style to rite items from Jordan Fork, please ac- ept these from a different source. We are having frequent showers, which tend to wouderlully help the wheat and garden crops. Flowing is the order of the day, al though many are substituting the plow for the harrow, and using it energetically to get rid of the weeds. We are pleased to note the arrival, from Missouri, of Mr. Clms. Williams, ei.liew of W. H. Williams of this place. He Beems to like the oouutry very well so far, and we hope may be persuaded to bemime one of us, as Missouri is loo muddy for health or pleasure. We notioed a short time ngo, that nnr worthy oorrenponuiiii -uncie I'om," was inclined to oritioisn this part of the world in general, and the iioat in partioillar. N w it aeaiiii to me, that he ib a little nil, as rrom good authority the goat he left in death's embrace, is Hill alive and acting his usual way in good Until, at the uraugs Hall. I am thinking "Uncle Tom," like a great mauy others, is prone to write of something he knows nothing atiour. And again he rererrs to a certain new lireotor laok of hair, let tutu take that home to himself, and see if there isn t a spot on bis own head, that shines like a bright.new dollar, and more, "Uncle Tom," I want to tell you that the kick- -rs of whom yuti rcrur, are nut all in the went end of dietrict No. II. and while the people in the west and are nut angels by any means, they believe, like vou, tn have justice dune all, and are willing to do what is right, who oould ask more? Of courso when the east end tries to ontne ' Hamuel Legree" on them, tbey rebel. The goat ll alive anil who Is to blame Kor I'ncleTom's telling a yarn? II bald headed men were the fashion agalu, Would this cmlly man run lo the burn? It kickers were plrtiired bv the sets tln-y do, rou d llnd one among them to look like you. ANON. JiiRhkn FoitK, April l!l, 1HM. Kipans Tabiilos euro dyspepsia. H . r vfl I . iLfll l nun b n v H -all n trt a 1 vw UPowd 17i er. n, i i, Ce,.um of Tartar Powder. No Ammonia; No Alum. Used in Millions of Homes 40 Years the Standard